Fiscal Imbalance? Where?
Mr. Stephen Harper attempts to confuse Canadians every time he speaks. I believe his hidden agenda is to confuse voters so badly they might vote "Conservative" instead of "Liberal."
Recently our illustrious Prime Minister had to point out there is no fiscal imbalance in Canada. "If this were the case, the federal and provincial governments would be entitled to make a claim on each others' resouces."
If this were the case, people in central Canada would be envious of Alberta's wealth. Instead, they are rejoicing over it. If people in Central Canada were unhappy about Alberta, would these people not agree to elected senators, just to make the point that Alberta is not really part of Canada? Canadians have appointed senators. That is part of what makes us Canadian.
The great need for child care also binds us as Canadians. According to the Liberal Party of Canada, Statistics Canada reports 84 per cent of families have parents who are both in the workforce and 70 per cent of women with children under the age of six are employed. We have a lot of Canadian children whose parents aren't home when the little ones get out of school - we need child care! Think of the children! Never mind there are a few redneck women who enter fields where shift work is common - most of these women live in Alberta where the Liberals are not appreciated. Never mind there are a few women who work more than one minimum-wage job with no hope of getting out of the vicious cycle of poverty while raising a child or two - these women would only get $19 a week after taxes if they vote Conservative.
Recently Mr. Stephen Harper allowed a news release that disposable income has not increased in 12 years. Mr. Harper, I'll have you know that the Liberal Party of Canada is proud to say the average family income was eight per cent higher in 2003 than in 1993! Who needs to reduce GST or cut taxes for families, when proper government management accomplishes an eight per cent increase in free money? Environmental protection doesn't grow on trees, you know, and you can't take the social out of funding and still have social programs.
That last outburst was regretably necessary to get the attention of the leader of the Conservative party. Please, don't outburst like that at home. I am a professional.
Calm and serene, vote Liberal - from HerImperialHighness.
Finally, A Move In The Right Direction?
What are the signs of a great leader?
Being born in the right area and having the right family connections are essentials to being a leader. Being a great leader involves much more. A great leader accepts responsibility for the errors of others, and does so graciously.
That is why we are so fortunate, here in Canada. Our great leader, the great and glorious Prime Minister Paul Martin (huzzah at his name), graciously accepted responsibility where the Ontario government failed - in the problems of Kashechewan. Our Prime Minister has graciously offered to move the community to higher ground. This, of course, will solve all of the problems that this community was forced to deal with when the Ontario government failed to make this offer.
It is a great day for all Canadians. Show your Liberal pride!
Liberal At Last
It is not often that a Conservative tells it like it is.
That is why I must throw caution to the wind and link to Monte Solberg, Member of Parliament for Medicine Hat. Mr. Solberg acknowledges the greatness that is the glorious Liberal party and our logic therein. Mr. Solberg concedes that the Conservatives are responsible for every problem that has finally become known through the diligent digging of our wise and wonderful Prime Minister Paul Martin (let us sing his praises). To quote Mr. Solberg, "I know see that I was the one who was ridiculous." Indeed, Mr. Solberg.
Mr. Solberg goes on to acknowledge, "The Libs are entitled to govern as they see fit, and if you think otherwise you are wrong. In fact you are actually an un-Canadian redneck Neanderthal…" Indeed, Mr. Solberg.
Clearly, it is only those in Liberal top circles who can make the best decisions for Canada. That's why the SPAR contract is moving from Ehduhmonton to B.C. A close examination of the situation reveals that it would be unwise to continue a federal contract in hostile territory. And for those of you who don't know, Ehduhmontonians can provide very unpleasant reactions when discussing the federal Liberal party, policies and politicians in general.
We can only hope and pray that Ehduhmontonians do not take out any of this misplaced anger on our illustrious Anne McClellan, Deputy Prime Minister of Canada.
Social engineering does not happen overnight, nor does it happen easily. I am thrilled to report that we Liberals have managed to infiltrate the hardest nuts to crack, the politically-inclined Albertans. Some said it could not happen; they said Albertans were proud individualists who would find a way to get things done no matter how bad the situation seemed, and that people of such intelligence and ingenuity would never allow themselves to become weak-minded and/or reliant on others.
The subtle nature of this engineering is beautifully demonstrated on a web site "devoted to bettering Alberta and Albertans" to "advance Alberta's interests regardless of Canada". Despite this claim, the site encourages people to demonstrate that Albertans cannot do simple math (stating that someone born in 1949 must be at least 70 years old) and that Albertans cannot figure out how to send emails (repeated comments saying it would be so nice to have a response to this question; calls to have someone else email an individual to get a reply). We have achieved what none thought possible - reducing Albertans to a state of almost total inaction - to a point where takeover is nothing more than a carbon tax away.
It brings a tear to my weary eye, to see such public displays.
Many thanks to the great and glorious P. E. Trudeau, may he rest in peace, and all those who carry on his work!
Andrew Coyne: You are my Commander-in-Chief
Of course mainstream media loves Michaelle Jean - who amongst the civilized kills one of their own? She has such a way with the English words - "The narrow notion of 'every person for himself' does not belong in today's world..." And her daddy - her daddy says "She has never been a separatist. Never. Never. Never."
We must forgive her daddy because I am sure he is not the sort of person who watches James Bond movies and because I am sure he is a wonderful grandfather. After all, he created a governor general who "will turn out to be hard to dislike or dismiss," according to Chantal Hebert in the Toronto Star.
And, as we all know, there is no better indicator of what we must think than the Toronto Star, whose very light guides us, even in the dark and dreary world that is Alberta.
Liberals are Everywhere
My pride knows no bounds - we have invaded the Alberta separatist movement and are moving the movement into disarray!
While it would be unbecoming of me to reveal confidences, let's just say a certain web site claiming to promote an independent Alberta is now fully rampant with comments from Liberals who are 'passing' as separatists!
The techniques are subtle yet oh-so-obvious to the trained eye. For those lacking the necessary experience, here are some tips to recognize the hidden Liberals:
1) Jump into an existing thread and highjack it to thump people with a completely different idea, one that serves your interests
2) Invent problems and keep harping on them until people believe the problems exist
3) When inventing problems, make them so difficult to believe that people will believe them, in spite of all sorts of facts that disprove your version - people still fall for the old "it's too good to believe" crap
4) If anyone dares to disagree with you or, worse, present actual facts to refute your version, call them out as being unsupportive - if necessary, use words like "racist" and "fear-mongering" and conjure up images of them beating baby seals with large clubs (creativity is highly encouraged)
5) Never, ever, back down from your assertation that you believe in the solid principles of whatever forum you're posting on - even as you cut the legs out from under those who actually support those principles
Now, I may have said too much - so go and enjoy!
Recent Developments
Dear me, I have been so busy lately stuffing money into envelopes and visiting Italian restaurants fundraising for our beloved Liberals, I have failed to provide further education and enlightenment to you, the beloved readers of this blog.
Let us review some of our most recent great and glorious accomplishments, shall we?
Governor General (to be) Jean Michaelle. Isn't she pretty, for a woman her age? And she speaks English, will wonders never cease! Let us all take a moment to praise our great and glorious Prime Minister Paul Martin (blessing and wonder to him).
Reviewing the options for stealing from liberating Alberta's excess wealth to share the load across the entire country of Canada. Imagine how tired the average Albertan must be, dragging around pockets full of cash. Imagine how exhausted the poor accountants at the oil companies are, working all that overtime to enter the massive profits they are stealing from everyday Canadians. Believe me, it is not because Canadians want more money from Alberta, it is because they feel such a deep and liberal kinship with Albertans that they wish to help us lighten our load. Let us all take another moment to praise our great and glorious Prime Minister Paul Martin (blessing and wonder to him).
Extreme times call for extreme gun control - we in the West look to the East with shock and awe at the amazing intellectual capacities of Ontario's leaders when it comes to solving the murder problems in Toronto. Praise to our great and glorious Prime Minister Paul yada yada.
The law prevents people who live outside Alberta from joining, or donating to, the Separation Party of Alberta. Praise to our great and glorious yada yada.
We shall close now, gentle readers, with the ever faithful belief in the power and joy that is the Liberal Party of Canada.
Some Parents Can't Afford Lessons, So Everyone Must Chip In
Excellent. Another topic on which everyone can agree. Following a series of drowning deaths in Ontario, Carolyn Bennett (the federal minister responsible for public health) is calling on the federal government to fund swimming lessons for children ACROSS CANADA.
As the minister said, "I think every kid should know what to do when they fall into water."
It isn't like a natural reflex is to, you know, paddle, or anything like that. And we can't be too careful - ANYONE could fall into the water whilst fulfilling the life-long dream of all Canadians - that dream, of course, being a visit to Ontario. Where there is a lot of water. Because obviously the highest danger of drowning is in Ontario. Because obviously every Canadian wants to live in Ontario, so every Canadian visits Ontario to scope out the prospects.
Actually, I think the feds should require proof of adequate swimming training from ALL visitors to Ontario, and provide funding for anyone who lacks a decent "fall in and paddle" technique. Of course, that would require a few hundred testers/instructors to examine the technique of all potential visitors - after a full study to determine the best minimum requirements for swimming, and obtaining an appropriate consultant group to administer training and certification.
A small price to pay for public safety.
People, this is another "same sex marriage" and "budget" idea - something we can ALL support.
Send your spare change to the Liberal Party of Canada - NOW!
Fun-d Raising
People of Canada - send money to the Liberal Party.
Look at the facts. The Right Hon. PM Paul Martin cancelled the sponsorship program as his first act in office on December 12th, 2003. He removed people from positions as crown corporation executives. He filed a lawsuit against 19 defendents. And, of course, it was this Liberal government that appointed Justice Gomery.
By year five, Ontario will receive $746 million per year in stable and predictable funding for better roads and improved transportation. This government is providing significant funding to the Federal Economic Development Initiative for Northern Ontario (FedNor). Their early learning and child care will give Ontario's families the assistance they need. These and other priorities were what Ontarians said they wanted the Liberals to focus on when Ontarians went to the polls last year. It is why Ontarians voted for a Liberal government.
This Liberal government is committed to moving Canada forward.
So send money! They need it! Put some fun back into fundraising! Call people in Alberta (select the names at random from any Alberta telephone directory) - remember, Alberta is two hours behind Ontario - and tell them the Liberals need more money!
Liberal Mental ity
As originally pointed out on
this blog, hockey is the place of greatest need for equality rights, now that the gay people can marry and live without fear of being different. How can we expect young people to learn about fair play if we don't offer them a completely fair playing field?
Leave it up to Mom. Jane Emlyn has to
present the case herself to the Human Rights Tribunal in Vernon, B.C. as reported by the Ottawa Citizen on Monday, July 11/05. The case, sadly, is clear discrimination against females by the brutish amateur hockey association in B.C. You see, Jane's daughter, like so many other young females, is forced to use a separate change room for hockey games. Obviously this is a ploy to keep the young women out of the banter and backroom strategizing that takes place before every amateur hockey game in B.C. Obviously this is part of a larger conspiracy to keep young women barefoot, pregnant and out of the game. The young women are allowed a scant 15 minutes before game time to share in the camaraderie that is the change room. And, as the parent of any teenage boy knows, what can possibly happen in 15 minutes? Why not give the girls the full treatment?
Precendent was set by the enlightened New Brunswick Human Rights Commission last October. The ruling, that female players had their rights violated by being forced to change in a separate room, set the tone that the rest of us should be ringing to. Ms. Emlyn's daughter, brilliantly named Jewel, points out that teammates who don't feel comfortable in a co-ed locker room could change elsewhere. Therefore, players who wished to demonstrate weakness could ask for separate changerooms, and make it easier for the coaches to weed out those who really aren't suited for the game of real life.
One must ask - why didn't any of the young men complain about separate changerooms? Did NONE of them notice that the women were being discriminated against? I hope Ms. Emlyn is also raising this issue with the Human Rights Tribunal, because more than the state of her daughter's underwear and team tactics are at stake.
One must also ask how Jewel knows so much about the activities in the boys' changeroom. It seems clear that the boys have been bragging to her about how much fun they have, which is just another sign of the rampant and degrading discrimination that Canadian women still face.
Oh woe. We have so far to go.
And I had such hope for B.C.
And welcome, Ms. Understood. Old Fuddle-Duddle needs a lot of explanations to see the errors of his ways, as does John Galt. Wait a minute. Who is John Galt?
