Andrew Coyne: You are my Commander-in-Chief
Of course mainstream media loves Michaelle Jean - who amongst the civilized kills one of their own? She has such a way with the English words - "The narrow notion of 'every person for himself' does not belong in today's world..." And her daddy - her daddy says "She has never been a separatist. Never. Never. Never."
We must forgive her daddy because I am sure he is not the sort of person who watches James Bond movies and because I am sure he is a wonderful grandfather. After all, he created a governor general who "will turn out to be hard to dislike or dismiss," according to Chantal Hebert in the Toronto Star.
And, as we all know, there is no better indicator of what we must think than the Toronto Star, whose very light guides us, even in the dark and dreary world that is Alberta.
Liberals are Everywhere
My pride knows no bounds - we have invaded the Alberta separatist movement and are moving the movement into disarray!
While it would be unbecoming of me to reveal confidences, let's just say a certain web site claiming to promote an independent Alberta is now fully rampant with comments from Liberals who are 'passing' as separatists!
The techniques are subtle yet oh-so-obvious to the trained eye. For those lacking the necessary experience, here are some tips to recognize the hidden Liberals:
1) Jump into an existing thread and highjack it to thump people with a completely different idea, one that serves your interests
2) Invent problems and keep harping on them until people believe the problems exist
3) When inventing problems, make them so difficult to believe that people will believe them, in spite of all sorts of facts that disprove your version - people still fall for the old "it's too good to believe" crap
4) If anyone dares to disagree with you or, worse, present actual facts to refute your version, call them out as being unsupportive - if necessary, use words like "racist" and "fear-mongering" and conjure up images of them beating baby seals with large clubs (creativity is highly encouraged)
5) Never, ever, back down from your assertation that you believe in the solid principles of whatever forum you're posting on - even as you cut the legs out from under those who actually support those principles
Now, I may have said too much - so go and enjoy!
Recent Developments
Dear me, I have been so busy lately stuffing money into envelopes and visiting Italian restaurants fundraising for our beloved Liberals, I have failed to provide further education and enlightenment to you, the beloved readers of this blog.
Let us review some of our most recent great and glorious accomplishments, shall we?
Governor General (to be) Jean Michaelle. Isn't she pretty, for a woman her age? And she speaks English, will wonders never cease! Let us all take a moment to praise our great and glorious Prime Minister Paul Martin (blessing and wonder to him).
Reviewing the options for stealing from liberating Alberta's excess wealth to share the load across the entire country of Canada. Imagine how tired the average Albertan must be, dragging around pockets full of cash. Imagine how exhausted the poor accountants at the oil companies are, working all that overtime to enter the massive profits they are stealing from everyday Canadians. Believe me, it is not because Canadians want more money from Alberta, it is because they feel such a deep and liberal kinship with Albertans that they wish to help us lighten our load. Let us all take another moment to praise our great and glorious Prime Minister Paul Martin (blessing and wonder to him).
Extreme times call for extreme gun control - we in the West look to the East with shock and awe at the amazing intellectual capacities of Ontario's leaders when it comes to solving the murder problems in Toronto. Praise to our great and glorious Prime Minister Paul yada yada.
The law prevents people who live outside Alberta from joining, or donating to, the Separation Party of Alberta. Praise to our great and glorious yada yada.
We shall close now, gentle readers, with the ever faithful belief in the power and joy that is the Liberal Party of Canada.
